The 21st Century, The age when stalking our friends became a good thing.....but should it have?

So today I left for my first holiday in two years.  In fact I’m typing this post up on my laptop as I fly 33,000 feet over southern Russia……….or maybe its some small country formerly of the USSR. It is hard to tell from the small screen with a blurry map that British Airways have supplied me with. I will be posting this as soon as I get to Singapore. 


However, moving onto something more relevant, I am reminded this week of the amazing wonder that is Social Net-Stalking. I am finding that although I will be 10,000 miles away, I am not so far removed from my friends, girlfriend, family and other loved ones. The wonders that are Facebook, Twitter, Skype and, the ultimate companion for anyone of the Gen-Z vintage, the SMS, all leave me with the ability to speak to those I am closest to when I am, in fact, as far away as possible without leaving orbit.


It is clear that technology has in fact brought us (the human race) closer together in many ways and, at the moment, I am extremely grateful for that. Unfortunately, sitting here in my partially reclined seat with extra legroom, I am drawn to the thought of how much Social Networking has taken away from us.


Keeping in touch through technology has not always been the case, as I am sure you are all aware. There was a time when flying to other side of the world meant that when you left behind those special people in your life, you truly left them behind and the only way to have a conversation even resembling “instant” was to actually go back and talk to them face to face.


So the big question is how did we cope? What did people have ten or twenty years ago that allowed them to keep relationships, catch up with friends from a far off country and feed the illusion in their minds that they are still close to somebody they haven’t physically spoken to in five years? The answer is a fairly simple one. We talked to each other using actual words.


Social Networking has been around for thousands of years; it’s just been called different things. Until recently it was called having a social life. It involved this strange and bizarre thing called talking to people. Actually having a conversation with someone, telling him or her about your self and listening to what they have to say. We had an inherent ability to “pick up where we left off” and bridge gaps of time, age and geography regardless of the effort involved. There was no technology involved, not an email to be read, no thumbs were harmed due to the constant pressing of buttons to text somebody and no screens flashed giving us that light happy feeling that jumps into our hearts telling us “yes, somebody does love me”. No we survived on seeing the beautiful smile on the face of that person we love so much, hearing the laugh of our best friend when we’ve actually told them a joke and seeing the look of sadness in someone’s eyes that tells you there is something more to the situation than what they’re actually telling you. We got to know the people in our lives, rather than just being acquainted with them and it made our relationships stronger.

What the Social Networking age has given us is a wonderful new way to be lazy. Why go and visit someone you haven’t seen in a while when you can learn about their entire life by reading their profile page or just instant messaging them? Don’t get me wrong, I am so grateful for inventions like Facebook. Having moved around so much in my life it has made keeping in contact with people easy, but sometimes I wish it hadn’t. I think I might appreciate people who were once a major part of my life or currently are now if I actually had to work to keep it that way. If asked I would get rid of text messaging. It is the bane of my existence. I use it more than most but if I were given the choice I would speak to people face to face all the time. When you’re texting or instant messaging you have time to practice. You can think about what you’re going to say instead of truly expressing yourself. So much of a conversation, especially the important ones, is shown through our expressions and what we don’t say rather than what we do. It is like the difference between a film and live theatre. Films are great, but you know that each scene took half a dozen takes and was edited afterwards, whereas theatre is one take, every time. If you screw up then it is a part of the performance and at least the expression was pure and unedited.


So I think in summary, I am grateful to live in an age that gives us this closeness through the LCD screen, but at the same time I weep, metaphorically, for the social skills of future generations. Yes we can live our lives from a computer, but that doesn’t mean we should. It is not as though the Social Network age took away the old ways of talking to and meeting people, we’re just too lazy to use them anymore. So today, tonight or yesterday depending on your relative time zone, I implore you all to go out of your house, find that person who is truly special in your life or once was and talk to them for an hour or six. Or even better, go out and meet someone knew. Don’t add them on Facebook, don’t exchange Blackberry pins, just talk and get to know them. Make a friend the right way. Trust me, it’s a good feeling.


Till next time…